Novelty Items

This week we talk about one of our favorite topics: novelty items used to pull pranks on your friends. From fake dog poop to hilarious toilet paper, we cover it all. Tim also proposes a business venture to Tom that would capitalize on their love of novelty items, but Tom is skeptical. First we talk about the logistics of maintaining George Washington's wooden teeth and which Founding Father would be the best morning zoo radio host.

Tickets for our UK and Ireland shows are going fast! Get yours at And if you're coming to the shows, email us with the problems you want solved for a live version of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems. [ - include the date of the show you're coming to]

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Elementary School with Dan Deacon

This week we've got our old friend Dan Deacon on the show to talk about elementary school, a place where we all went together. Keep in mind, the majority of this episode is about finding pornographic magazines in the woods and is the absolute last thing anyone IN elementary school should listen to.

We also solve some listener questions about exacting revenge on a neighbor who tears your wall down and advice on what to say during a valedictorian speech.

Virtual Reality

This week, things get technological as we discuss virtual reality. Among the questions we tackle: What is virtual reality? Why did Facebook buy Oculus? What is Oculus? What is Facebook? What ever happened to Virtual Boy, the Nintendo system from the mid-90s? Is it possible to use virtual reality to accurately simulate the sensation of kissing Juliette Lewis? Why is it so cold in cyberspace?

We also talk about curing people of stab wounds by draining their blood and freezing them, stealing broaches from parties, and sneaking in to R-rated movies as a young teen. In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we answer an email from a listener who thinks he's some sort of big-shot funny man.

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Guitar Center

This week we’re talking about Guitar Center, which if you can believe this is an entire CENTER which sells guitars. But not only that, they also sell drum sticks and podcasting mixing boards. That makes this sound like it’s a sponsored episode, but once you listen to it it’ll be obvious that it is anything BUT. Also, the return of listener favorite segment: The Mundane Bucket List!


This week’s episode is sponsored by us, The Complete Guide to Everything LIVE in Dublin, Edinburgh, Manchester and London is coming this Spring! Buy your tickets now or forever regret it! 

Nuclear Power

This week, we discuss nuclear power, with Tom sounding like a corporate shill ever since watching a documentary about its benefits. Tim asks the tough questions about the harmfulness of radiation, the likelihood of obtaining super powers from nuclear waste and why we don't attach all of our waste to hot air balloons and send them into space.

But first, there is some confusion about the logistics of Benjamin Button's reverse aging, we disagree about the merits of superhero movies and we're distracted by some bright studio lights.

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we help a listener who has questions about finding a girl who likes Doctor Who and a barista with a secret admirer.

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Hot Dogs

Live show announcement! Dublin, Edinburgh, Manchester and London, we’re coming back! Find out more at!

This week we talk about union strike inflatable rats, Ellen’s Oscars bits, and the new NYC bathroom membership options available. Also the McDonald’s Mighty Wings problem in dissected before a brief conversation about hot dogs. We also unveil a new segment: “Real-life Equivalents of Fictional Characters" and solve a problem involving going out on a first date with a cheapskate.

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2014 UK and Ireland Tour

A great picture of us in the UK and Ireland.

A great picture of us in the UK and Ireland.

We're super excited to announce all the dates for our 2014 TCGTE UK & Ireland Tour. The shows are always a lot of fun and we think these are going to be the best ones yet. (Not to give too much away, but Tom recently bought a new joke book and Tim has been learning some astounding magic tricks.)

In all seriousness, we're incredibly lucky that we've been able to travel over there numerous times over the last few years. Thanks so much to all of you who have supported us by going to shows in the past. We really hope to see you again this time. As always, we'll be hanging out after the shows so we can tell you all about the poor service we've received at coffee shops in a more personal manner.

We're announcing these dates a little earlier than we have in the past, but if you're planning on going, we'd recommend you pick your tickets up now, as the shows tend to sell out. 

Oh, and we're doing multiple dates in both Manchester and London, but the performances will be different. So, if you wanted to come to more than one, you'll be seeing completely different shows. Do it!

Tickets for all dates are on sale now!

May 31  •  Dublin, Ireland  •  Powerscourt Theatre  (BUY TICKETS)
June 2  •  Edinburgh, Scotland  •  Scottish Storytelling Centre  (BUY TICKETS)
June 3  •  Manchester, England  •  Engine House  (BUY TICKETS)
June 4  •  Manchester, England  •  Engine House  (BUY TICKETS)
June 5  •  London, England  •  Kings Place *   (BUY TICKETS)
June 6  •  London, England  •  Kings Place   (BUY TICKETS)
June 7  •  London, England  •  Kings Place   (BUY TICKETS)

* The June 5 show will be a special one-time only POP EVERYTHING show.


This week Tom schools Tim on his new favorite currency, bitcoins. Tom explains how bitcoins are mined, sold and spent, or at least how he THINKS it all works. And Tim nods along like an old grandpa pretending to understand because he doesn't really care.

Also, Tim has a terrible encounter with a magician on a subway, we consider the merits of letting a 6 year-old ride the subway alone, and we solve a problem from a listener who was an accomplice to a "shrimping".

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The Oscars 2014

This week we’re talking about the 2014 Academy Awards. Who will win? Who do we think will win? Who do we think deserves to win? Find out all that and much more about Henry David Thoreau’s history with Street Fighters 2 in this week’s episode!

This week’s episode is sponsored by Amazon Prime. Try Prime before February 26th in the UK and lock in your first year for only £49, including access to the all new Prime Instant Video library of over 15,000 movies and TV shows.

Cable TV

This week's episode is a ripped-from-the-headlines account of a big news story: the merger between Comcast and Time Warner Cable. Actually, it's more about how Tom got screwed by his local cable company and Tim's reminiscing of the time he was disappointed by the Playboy channel as a teenager.

Also, Tom is excited by the prospect of listeners abandoning the podcast because of his dream recollections last week, and we discuss Tom's recent training in the art of archery. We also solve a problem from a listener who would rather go see Motorhead than spend time with his visiting parents.

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Traveling into the Future with Anna Kendrick (Neither actual time travel nor actual Anna Kendrick are featured in this episode.)

Look, this is a weird one. We were going to do an episode about the Winter Olympics, but Tom was sick and instead we spent an hour talking about a dream Tom had where he time traveled into the future with Anna Kendrick and later met up with Tim who had a new iPad that Tom was worried would give him away as a time traveler. Also, Tom almost drowns during this episode at one point.

We also solve a listener problem regarding his desire to one-up his girlfriend's Valentine's Day plans.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Grab any of their over 150,000 audiobooks INCLUDING TOM'S NEW AUDIOBOOK VERSION OF 'META' for free by going to

Superbowl Commercials

It's the week of Super Bowl, folks, and everyone knows that the best part isn't the game itself, it's the commercials. In this episode we preview some of the most anticipated Big Game commercials and imagine what the best Tostitos commercial ever would look like. But first, Tom grills Tim on dip-related matters, Tim won't stop talking about one particular episode of the Cosby Show and we feature a very special halftime spectacular of our own.

In a new Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we answer a listener's question about a relative that she can't shake.

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Raising Children

This week we're talking about literally one of the easiest things anyone could ever do: raise children. Over the course of the hour we go through a lot of the common mistakes idiots make when trying to raise children, along with our solutions, along with a discussion about a troubled young person named Justin Bieber and the advice of Francis L. Thompson who claims to have raised 12 kids to not only be perfect children, but also excellent hot rod mechanics.

Fancy Suits

This week, hear about wearing fancy clothes from two guys who never wear fancy clothes. After being invited to serve as groomsmen (NOT broomsmen) in a friend's wedding, we have to a take a trip to get fitted for tuxedos. As a result, Tim is worried that his recent weird diet will screw up the way he looks in a tux when he gains his weight back and Tom has a serious question about ventriloquist dummies.

Also this week, we talk about Doritos that taste like tacos that taste like Doritos and we solve two problems in a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems: one about a wedding and one from a drunk baker.

We also announce our upcoming live shows in London! We'll be sailing on a ship across the Atlantic Ocean to do shows on June 5, 6, and 7, 2014. Get more info and buy tickets here!

The Nancy Kerrigan & Tonya Harding Scandal

This week we're talking about something that happened 20 years ago: the Nancy Kerrigan & Tonya Harding Scandal! Learn all about the scandal that happened when Tim & Tom were barely young men and in no way involved. Also we talk about some jerk who tried to buy his way into the Olympics this year and failed, and we solve a listener problem involving the casual sex phone application Tinder.

This week's episode is brought to you by US! Check out for a bunch of cool merchandise that'll make you the envy of your next bridge game.

Hangover Cures

In case you're still hungover from New Year's Eve, we cover all the various remedies available to deal with your throbbing headache and nausea. From greasy food and energy drinks to Gatorade and the "hair of the dog that bit you," we cover it all. Plus, we discuss how to purchase a pop star's hair from eBay without breaking their terms of service.

But first, Tom overhears a strange conversation on a train, Tim has a theory about Duck Dynasty and we devise a Rube Goldberg machine that makes moonshine. And in another installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we help a college girl who is too shy to talk to her crush.

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What Happened to Pop Everything?


You may recall that a few short months ago we started a new podcast called Pop Everything as a kind of companion show to The Complete Guide to Everything where we would focus on pop culture, giving recommendations and coming up with crazy theories about TV shows, books, music and movies. And, boy was it ever great. Literally everyone loved it, without reservation, and we got featured in the iTunes store and rocketed up the charts. The show’s success made us instant millionaires, and we spent our days lighting Cuban cigars with thousand dollar bills.

But after that initial sugar high, things got kinda stale. It turned into a show where two ill-prepared men kinda talked about what was on TV the previous week. Not much fun to record or, we imagine, listen to. Putting the show out each week made us feel like a couple of grade-A dunces. Not to mention the fact that we literally burned all of our money lighting those goddamn cigars.

So, to remedy this fact, we’re putting Pop Everything on hiatus for a bit while we figure out a way to make it more engaging and worthy of your time. We think we have some good ideas about what a TCGTE pop culture show should sound like, but we’re going to let them develop a little bit more before unleashing them on the world. We expect this to take weeks, not years, because that would be ridiculous. It’s just a podcast.

Anyway, we’ll be back with something resembling Pop Everything, but a whole lot more fun (hopefully) very soon. In the meantime, The Complete Guide to Everything will continue chugging along as it has for almost 5 years. Thanks for all your support, whether you’ve been a TCGTE fan since the beginning or if you’ve just discovered us. It really means a lot to us.

2013 Year in Review

This week Tim finds out he wasn’t invited to the annual Complete Guide to Everything corporate Christmas party due to his behavior last year and we discuss the year that was: 2013. No stone is left unturned as we talk about the year’s biggest celebrity break-ups, “buzzwords” and other “events”.

Also we give an Englishman advice about how to woo American women by acting like Hugh Grant.

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Christmas Shopping

This week, while other podcasts are taking the week off, we are giving invaluable advice regarding last minute Christmas shopping. Tom in particular has a lot of advice to give, as he has not bought any presents for anybody as of 3 days before Christmas. As he explains, he's been too busy getting riled up by the local news. Tim, on the other hand, has all his shopping done, with enough time left over to come up with ideas about how to get beat up by Best Buy security guards and score a huge cash settlement. 

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a bizarre problem from a running enthusiast regarding some mysterious puke. Merry Christmas everyone!

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Pop Everything: We Saw Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark

In this episode, we recap our fabulous night on Broadway, seeing the famous musical Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark. Because we spent actual money on tickets and went to Times Square during the busiest time of year on a Saturday night to watch a troubled musical about a superhero. Oh and we also read the tell-all book about the musical, so we talk about that a bunch.

This week's episode is sponsored by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice at