Emergency Preparedness

If there’s an emergency, are you prepared? You are if you have THIS episode. Tim and Tom discuss all the things you need to have in case of an emergency, like a hand crank radio, dehydrated food and constant entertainment.

This week we also introduce a new segment called “Taking Care of Business” and solve a listener problem relating to Facebook birthday blues.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trail and an audiobook download of your choice by going to tcgte.com/audible.

Ice Cream

We're smack dab in the middle of summertime, so this week we're talkin' ice cream. And boy oh boy, do we have a lot of opinions about ice cream. If you enjoy listening to two grown men talking about desserts very passionately, this is the episode for you. We also coin a new phrase that is sure to take the world by storm, and solve a listener's problem about when to shake hands and when to hug.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trail and an audiobook download of your choice by going to tcgte.com/audible.

Personal Hygiene

This week we cover it all, folks: from baths to showers to brushing your teeth. Everything you need to know about proper personal hygiene is covered. Plus we explore a minor plot point in Back to the Future which may not make any sense, Tom refuses to explain why a cab hailing app has deemed him "influential," and Tim says something gross that needs to be bleeped out. Also we solve a problem from a listener that may or may not be made up. 

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30-day trial and an audiobook of your choice by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

Fitness Trackers

This week, Tim tries to rebrand the podcast as a resource for consumers to compare products, beginning with fitness trackers in this episode. Tom doesn't seem all that interested in this plan and spends more time thinking about they lyrics of Stevie Wonder songs. Also, Tim is ready to leave New York City for good because his car was towed.

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we give advice to a girl whose boyfriend turns into a monster whenever he plays video games.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice by going to tcgte.com/audible.

Haunted Houses

This week we’re talking all about haunted houses! Ohhhhhhhhh! Scary! All kinds of haunted houses, from the dinky ones at small-time amusement parks like Adventureland, where Tim shut down an entire ride, to haunted walking tours all about horrific deaths. Also we solve a listener’s problem having to do with some inappropriate photos on a work computer.

This episode is brought to you by Audible. For a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice, sign up at tcgte.com/audible.

Charles Manson

This week we talk about Charles Manson, a man famous for horrible things. Please be warned: Tim and Tom share what may be a somewhat controversial opinion – we don't like him. We make no apologies for this fact.

Also we talk about old department stores and giving gum to the animals at the zoo! We also introduce our brand new segment "The Complete Guide Mailbag." Get in on the fun by sending us mail! Here's our address:

The Complete Guide to Everything
P.O. Box 395
Greenpoint
Brooklyn, New York 11222-0395

This episode is brought to you by Audible. For a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice, sign up at tcgte.com/audible.

Horse Racing

This week we talk about Tim's trip to the horse track, which did not go well for him. Things go a little off the rails when we discuss the lineage of certain horses and what constitutes a "good horse." There's also a lot of talk about drinking smoothies, buying life-sized wax figures of George Clooney and opening a dangerous amusement park, as well as a staggering amount of product placement. 

In a brand new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a young man's question about an uncle who steals his cigarettes.

This episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and an audiobook of your choice by going to tcgte.com/audible.

World Cup 2014 Brazil

World Cup Fever! This week we’re talking all about the world’s favorite sport: Non-American Football. Mostly though we talk about how Tom enjoys soccer, Tim is indifferent to it and they both agree that a lot of people in Brooklyn pretend to like it when the World Cup happens. Also the return of our world famous segment, The Mundane Bucket List.

This week’s episode is sponsored by The Complete Guide to Everything, who encourage you to check out The Complete Guide to Everything: After Dark Volume 2! That’s right, another collection of exclusive episodes we recorded with 7 of our besties that are available only on this custom limited edition 4GB USB drive. Over 10 hours of content for only $20 right over at tcgte.com/store!

Algernon After Dark

This week, we offer you a taste of our other show, The Complete Guide to Everything: After Dark, mostly because we don't have an actual episode to put out. So instead, please enjoy this episode from the vault (recorded a couple years ago). If you've heard this episode already, we apologize. But listen to it again, maybe you'll hear some stuff you didn't pick up on the first time! 

We'll be back next week with a regular episode. Promise.

Going Off The Grid

Have you ever wanted to disappear completely and never be found? Are you afraid that sinister forces are watching your every move, and just wish you could get away from it all? Well, you probably won't find any practical information in this episode, but you will hear Tim & Tom contemplate how difficult it would be to live off the grid. Also, Tom floats the prospect of replacing Tim on the podcast with his dog, Tim shaves his beard out of paranoia, and we discuss what to do if you smell terrible and don't know it. 

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we give advice to a teenager about how to properly channel teen angst.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice, go to tcgte.com/audible.

UK Tour Dates Canceled

We're very sorry to announce that we need to cancel all the scheduled shows remaining on our UK Tour. This effects the Manchester shows on June 3 & 4, as well as the London shows on June 5, 6 & 7. All shows have been canceled. Unfortunately, there has been a serious family emergency and we must return to the US as soon as possible.

If you had tickets to the shows, you will be refunded. If you have purchased tickets to the London Shows, you will be contacted later this week by the venue with refund information. For those of you who bought tickets to the Manchester shows, you'll be receiving an email from us within the next couple of days with all necessary information.

Obviously, we're very sorry to be doing this on such short notice. We know a lot of you travel significant distances to come to these shows, and we sincerely appreciate that you do so. Please know that we would never cancel these shows unless it was absolutely necessary. 

Thanks for your understanding. We'll be back soon and hope to see all of your beautiful faces.

Tim & Tom

Soylent

This week we talk about the future of food, Soylent. If you don't know, Soylent is a goo that was created by tech industry folks that provides all the nutrients your body needs [probably], eliminating the need to eat regular food. It seems really weird, and the dude who invented it sounds kind of like a jerk. We discuss this, and also Tom gets angry at people who call pasta sauce "gravy."

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we help out a young person who has trouble scheduling a study schedule.

Oh, and hey, Manchester and London: We are in your cities this week! There are still some tickets available and we would love to see you. Go to tcgte.com/tour for more info!

Twitter

This week we’re talking about the hot new website Twitter.com! We also spend an inordinate amount of time talking about a Morrissey Twitter account that turned out later in the week to be fake. From now on we’ll wait until the absolute last minute to record as always to make sure all of our facts are straight.

Hey! We're coming to the UK and Ireland in less than a month! Get all the info and buy tickets at tcgte.com/tour.

Summer Movie Preview 2014 - Part 2

Last week's episode was so wildly popular, we've extended the party for another hour! Because we only discussed a few of the blockbusters being released this summer, we are bringing you a second part of our annual Summer Movie Preview. Among the movies we talk about are Think Like A Man Too, Jupiter Ascending and Guardians of the Galaxy. Naturally, this leads to talk of the Matrix, Ghost Dad and for some reason, Family Feud.

Also, Tom explains another bizarre dream, Tim mades a critical podcasting blunder, and we solve a problem from a listener who can't get his roommate to stop banging away on drums all day and night.

Hey! We're coming to the UK and Ireland in less than a month! Get all the info and buy tickets at tcgte.com/tour.

Summer Movie Preview 2014

This week Tim's sick for a change and we're talking about the summer movies of 2014. Which summer movies of 2014 you ask? Well I'm so glad you asked. How about a little movie called X-Men: Days of Future Past! Or what about another tiny indie movie called GODZILLA!?! There's a few other as well since we only got up to about June before running out time since the plots of all the X-Men movies had to be explained to Tim in detail by Tom.

BIG NEWS: We also announced the name of our Ireland/Scotland/England 2014 tour: The Teenagers and Alcohol Tour! You heard right, those are the two topics for our TCGTE shows joining Michael Jackson as our Pop Everything topic. More info and tickets at tcgte.com/tour

Mac and Cheese

This week we're talking about everyone's favorite meal, macaroni and cheese. It's the easiest (not to mention the cheesiest) quick meal option when you want to eat a bowl of something that will do gross things to your body. Tom explains how he discovered this the hard way when he microwaved himself up some discount truffle oil mac and cheese with a legitimately dangerous amount of saturated fat. Tim prefers to focus on some historical facts about mac and cheese which bores Tom nearly to death.

We also discuss Adam Levine's various endorsement deals that lead us to believe he may be a teenager in disguise and we provide tips to avoid having your friends' parents exploit you on America's Funniest Home Videos. 

Finally, In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we read letters from two listeners with similar problems despite being at very different stages in their lives.

This episode is sponsored by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice at tcgte.com/audible.

Billy Joel

This week Tom’s complaining about museums selling his information when all he wants to do is look at some mummies and we talk about one of the most famous Long Islanders of all time: Billy Joel. We play some of his songs and everything, which kinda screws up the sound here and there but all in all it was well worth the extremely minimal effort.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.