In this episode Tom and Tim discuss the hit reality show ‘The Bachelor’, America’s favorite sex-free 20 hour porn movie. Also discussed…

Olympic Fever Finally Subsides
Tom’s Strong Opinions on The Bachelor
Pooping Your Way Into Show Business
Tim and Tom Stop Solving One Person’s Problems
Podcast Philanthropy
A Special Musical Performance from Jimmy Bluffert
Don’t Forget Your Tim-screen

In this episode we talk about cruises, and Tom shares anecdotes from his recent vacation on board a luxury cruise. Also:

- the arduous process of recording a weekly podcast
- the perils of fame
- jumping overboard is not a good idea
- treating limo drivers with respect by never shooting them
- TCGTE’s after hours cruise ship spectacular stage show
- the difference between cruise ships and pirate ships
- Jersey Shore rejects in Belize
- cell phone reception from Cuba
- renting books from the liberry
- taking pictures of jerks reading Maxim Magazine
- disguising strip clubs as cowboy hat stores

In this episode we cover the mass transit system. Topics include:

* TCGTE on location
* Bus smarts
* Bus Studies/Bust Studies
* Buses driven by children
* Throwing up on hambones
* Wearing velcro shoes and maternity jeans
* TV’s Clark Kent invented the Segway
* Amateur Rocketeers
* Hiding hobo clothes throughout the city like a superhero
* Tom yells at an old woman
* Unimportant police activity on the subway

*Please excuse the lateness of this episode. Tim’s not so smart when it comes to the internet. Next episode will be up at the regular time.

In this very special 2010 Winter Olympic preview episode, Tom tries to keep Tim’s Olympic Fever in check while they discuss:

* the inspirational book The Secret’s effect on Team USA’s dominance
* the Olympics vs. the much more extreme X-Games
* building homemade Olympic torches using propane tanks
* skiing on hay
* the exciting new sport, “horseboarding”
* lugers and skeletors
* Olympic prophecies
* the use performance enhancing drugs in curling

Tim wins TCGTE’s #1 fan contest
Method podcasting
White Castle destroys us
Tim eats too much candy
The Stepford A&W Employees
KFC’s Secrets Recipe (Hint: It’s racism)
Where’s the Beef Lady Strikes Out on Her Own
Free Marketing Idea: Haunted Wendy’s
Taco Bell Literally Almost Kills Tom
Tim’s Future Career as a Celebrity Reporter

T&T Hear About a Problem They Solved
Advice on Sister Swapping

The Gauntlet

This week:
Tom is sick and complains about it
Neti pots
English as a second language
Americans using slang from other countries
New Year’s Eve drum solo
TCGTE sitar and didgeridoo episodes
Buying pseudoephedrine
Time travel art fraud
Naked lady art class
The “Empty Suitcase” method of ending a relationship
A filthy letter from a girl
The GAUNTLET also happens

In this episode, stuff happens:

Tom talks like Oprah
Charles Shultz was a jerk
Going out Thelma and Louise style
Big plans for TCGTE!!
Back to the Future 2 Becoming Reality
Awful 80s Nostalgia
Creepy Japanese Robots
Society’s unfair treatment of Ben Affleck
Nostradamus was a jerk
Remakes of movies starring dogs
More adventurous pornography
The Milkernet
The future of teenage girl monster books
The most lethargic Gauntlet yet!

In this episode:

2009: A Landmark Year for Podcasting
Auditing our finances
The Beginning of TCGTE as Michael Jackson’s Legacy
Sitcom Porn
Porn
Rage Against the Machine #1 in the UK
9 Year Olds Don’t Know Anything
Teenagers Love Celebrities
Books Rated by Time Spent in Bathroom
Celebrity Deaths (DJ AM, David Carradine, Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, Walter Cronkite, Les Paul)
Celebrity Break Ups and Weddings
Lady Gaga: Hermaphrodite?
And a very long gauntlet, covering: childhood obsessions, colonoscopies, “a very special episode” episodes of tv shows, drinking-games, winter, sylvester stallone or bruce willis, motorcycles, One Hit Wonders, deals that are to good to be true, visiting the big apple, the reformation/counter reformation, social media, urban legends, interviews with hobos and bums, traveling, cereal and other breakfast related topics, the concept of ‘brunch’, the difference between beer and lager, US History, baked beans, geese, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Pizza, mall shopping, 90s pop music, regrets, get rich quick schemes, celebrity baby names, Jim Carrey, awkward drunken fist fights, concerts, Degrassi, old people, Burt Reynolds, confusing movies, Scots, Japan, kangaroos, healthcare, Lost, 90s action movies, hipsters and their potbellies, music, midwest, and yoga.

On this week’s yuletide-themed episode, we decide we know too little about Hanukkah to say anything about it so we discuss boring advent calendars, hypnotic Gap commercials, adults getting gifts from their parents, kids being jerks on Christmas morning, little kids lying about seeing Santa Claus, drinking too much at family Christmas parties, talking to teenagers, Tom’s continuing headaches at his local Starbucks, drinking liquid gold, advice for people who get beat up in China and Mariah Carey Christmas songs.

On this episode we celebrate ABC’s 90s Friday night sitcom lineup known as TGIF. We cover Full House, a very special episode of Diff’rent Strokes, why the movie Big is unrealistic, Tom Hanks vs. Amazon.com, TGIF poison Stacy Keenan, the snappy writing on Boy Meets World, hilarious catchphrases and Tom’s adventures as a junior television mogul. We also solve listener Jesse’s college problems with an elaborate cat tea party plan and barely survive a particularly intense run through The Gauntlet.

Diff’rent Strokes Child Molester Episode

(We know that this is neither 90’s nor TGIF, but we wanted to talk about it so tough shit.)

Perfect Strangers

Dinosaurs Finale

The Urkel Dance (Family Matters)

Boy Meets World

In this super-sized episode of TCGTE we discuss:
Tom’s college thesis on Mr. Rogers
Why Tim and Tom should not have graduated from college
Making reservations at public restrooms
Dance-fighting with meth addicts
Awful Starbucks employees
Dance-fighting with a lying homeless man
Tim and Tom solve your problems and offer revenge solutions
Tiger Woods vs. Alligators
Fishnet stockings
Writing novelizations of R-rated movies for children

Buggles, Greatest Hits, Whiskey, Buying Alcohol for Kids, Farms, Chattanooga Hipsterbones, Tim Meets a Pimp and the World’s Greatest Liar, Crushing Dreams, Racists Who Mow the Lawn in Lady’s Underwear, 900 Numbers that Make You Cry, Caught Listening to Your Own Podcast, Lenny Kravitz at 7-11, Thanksgiving Eve, The World’s Longest Gauntlet and the United Homeless Organization.

This Phone Number Will Make You Cry:

GREATEST HITS EPISODE! Featuring:

Baby Boomers (The Beatles)
CD Drive Prank (Freshman Year)
Midget Sighting (NYC)
Teenagers (Weird Al)
Book of World Records for Kids (Fall TV)
Nasty Latinas (North Korea)
Upper Decker (Bathroom Etiquette)
Werewolf Diarrhea (Halloween)
Hitting Cavemen with a DeLorean(Time Travel)
Hipster Potbellys (NYC)
Scumbags of the Week (Baseball)
Tim’s 9/11 Job Training (Sophomore Year)
John Lennon Stops By (The Beatles)

Tim the Sorcerer (Freshman Year) [Hidden Track]

Super special thanks to Andre and Ian who did the majority of the hard work for us on this one. We owe you each a beer. Thanks also to Keith, Simone, Ricky, Michelle, Sharon, and Emily for your suggestions. We owe you all a beer which you may split with each other.

Meinhardt Schwarzenegger, Last Action Hero, Batman and Robin, Mr. Crisp, Twins, Old Robots, The Most Amazing Movie Ever Made, Aliens vs. Predators, Tom proposes a new electronic device for just watching Arnold movies and Tom reviews Planet Hollywood.

The Gauntlet: Comic Book Superheroes, Social Networking, Parties, Annoying Kids, Random People You Meet on Nights Out, Gyms, TCGTE Goes Undercover, Male Grooming, The South and we ask for your family photos.

Fraternities, Tom’s terrible RA work, blaming everything on 9/11, Tim’s work as a maid, and scamming free pizza from the FBI. Also: when its acceptable to smash someone else’s television and how to get beat up by one of the Foo Fighters.

Baseball been berry, berry good to us.

In this terrifying installment of TCGTE, we talk about ghosts and ghouls and skeletons and werewolves. We also discuss king size candy bars and try to figure out just what the hell nougat is.

But that’s not all! Listen to the end when we reveal what we’re dressing up for this Halloween and talk about what it feels like to have Steve Buscemi take pity on you. WARNING: Due to the frightening nature of this episode, do not listen to this podcast alone, in the dark or without your security blanket.

The frequently asked for Complete Guide to Hip Hop with special guest Algernon!

In this episode we also discuss:
Balloon Boy, When is it ok to call a woman a girl?, Jay-Z, Brian Wilson’s rap career, Wu-Tang, Shitty Teenage Jobs, Thanksgiving (USA!), Fake Free Masons, AJ’s Haunted House, and much, much more!

Follow Algernon on Twitter @algernonregla

Referenced in this episode:

The full Brian Wilson rap song is available here.

We answer your burning questions about today’s most important issues: peeing and pooping.

UPDATE: keithmurphy in our new forums does some legwork and digs up the absolutely terrifying 20/20 segment about exorcisms from the early 90’s that we mention towards the end of the episode. WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK!

LISTEN TO EPISODE:

Some frank discussion about putting tubes up your butt, dentists with TVs, the introduction of “The Gauntlet” and of course Final Destination 3D.

Boris Yelsten drunk in his underwear at the White House, George W. scaring prisoners straight, Johnny Cash and Mr. Ed, Tom meets Nicholas Cage and listener suggestions!

The first in a series of “Stuff We Hate But Know Absolutely Nothing About”. TCGTE takes a bullet for you and watches Twilight in its entirety so we can then deliver you everything you need to know about it at your next cocktail party/water cooler showdown.

TCGTE’s 42nd annual Fall TV preview show! We discuss all your soon-to-be favorite new shows! Shows that are blatant movie rip-offs, shows that are about detectives, shows about MILFs, they’re all here!

The Beatles: Rock Band! Baby boomers ruined the world and then some more about the Beatles.

Support TCGTE through your Amazon purchase!

Real life superheroes, Michael Jackson lives and where the hell are my stickers?

A listener suggests Tim and Tom talk about their hometown, and they talk about things that annoy them for 45 minutes. Also, ice cream and mini-hamburgers.

Tom and Tim discuss the college freshman year experience, how not to masturbate discreetly and more. Plus, Tim fails at sorcery.

also Mad Men Abridged, Avoiding Tipping.

New Travel Agencies, Letters to Criminals. “I’ll Be Missing You”, Adopting a Teenager, My Super Sweet Sixteen.

The thrilling conclusion to last week’s Timhanger. Also, we cover listeners’ topic suggestions and Tom gets annoyed with the topics of dolphin genitalia and elves.

In this episode Tom and Tim talk a lot about Weird Al Yankovic and then it takes Tim 4 days to figure out how to upload the file to the internet.