Tim and Tom discuss all things Irish, recount tales of screwing up interviews for minimum wage jobs and then talk about haircuts for seriously like 20 minutes.

Tom insults all of Ireland
Baby bars
Repairing US – Irish Relations
Drunk, Lazy Mailmen
Strippers’ Problems
Mandatory Drug Testing
Tom Works for Coca-Cola for a Day
Tim’s Blockbuster Dreams Dashed
Offensive New Terrorism Drinks
Remember Me Spoilers
HaircutCast (Boring Edition)

The first in a series of “Stuff We Hate But Know Absolutely Nothing About”. TCGTE takes a bullet for you and watches Twilight in its entirety so we can then deliver you everything you need to know about it at your next cocktail party/water cooler showdown.

It sure seems like people love to read about Vampires and Wizards nowadays. I remember there was a group of people that were really into wizards and vampires when I was growing up as a kid too. Hmm, what were they called? I can’t remember. Oh, yeah, I remember now. HUGE NERDS.

The question of why or how this happened isn’t important to me though. All I know is that nowadays there are 3 keys to getting a book published.

1. Make it about vampires or wizards.
2. Write it at a 5th grade reading level.
3. Make it long as shit.

“Larry Motter and the Vampire Wizards”

1. This book is about vampire wizards. WHAT!?!? Yes, its true. Who would win in fight between vampires and wizards? Vampire Wizards.
2. This book will be a picture book. Right now Twilight and Harry Potter are severely limiting themselves to those with a 5th grade reading level. But what about illiterates? Should illiterates be denied the pleasure of vampire and wizard stories? Is that what America is about? Benjamin Franklin would be rolling over in his grave if he knew this is what America has come to.

Pre-orders will begin shortly, and I highly, HIGHLY recommend you pre-order. Unless you like being laughed out of the book store when you casually ask the clerk for the latest LMATVW book and he points you to the line wrapped around the block outside.